the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize