Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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