11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
