Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
