i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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