Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
