my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
