Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
