I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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