hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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