trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
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