im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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