Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
