just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
