Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
