She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
