She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
