What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
