You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
