Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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