Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
