Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
