Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
