I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He passed out mid-signature
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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