Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
