So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
