My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
