Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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