I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
