Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
