So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
