She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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