i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
