how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
