And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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