wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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