we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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