thus making me awesome and them whores
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
