remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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