What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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