Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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