so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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