Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
