Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
