Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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