I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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