is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
