before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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