One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
