jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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