Plan B is the new Plan A
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
