I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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