My room smells like vodka and shame
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
